My business was six weeks past dead; taxes were piling up, payables were dragging on and shareholders were fuming. My own finances were on the line because I’d spent personal debt to keep it afloat.
Then the call came in.
“Hi son, your father is going in for triple bypass surgery. It’s a 12-week, high-risk home recovery. We can handle it, but wanted you to know.”
For context, my dad is over six feet tall and my mom is five foot two and three-quarter inches (as she likes to remind us). There was no way she would be able to cover the at-home care needed for a safe recovery. But in classic Baby Boomer fashion, they’d get on with it, and I love that about their generation.
I needed to make a decision: help my family or save my business.
You lose yourself if you don’t put yourself first
My business felt like my baby, but even after nearly ten years, it wasn’t standing on its own two feet. We were due for another year of losses and were desperately trying to raise a Series A in the challenging 2023 market.
In past market dips, my co-founder and I had always survived. However, after 10 years, the business can feel like everything, and that means losing in business can feel like losing yourself.
From day one, you can’t avoid getting caught up in the hustle—the constant signaling by other entrepreneurs that they’re working at 150% capacity and doing 18-hour workdays to get ahead. This is obviously impossible to sustain, and working that way makes it very easy to lose yourself.
You’ll get caught up in it some days, but staying true to yourself will help you realize that the only competition is within, so be selfish and strive to win more than you lose each day.
Prioritizing yourself feeds your business in the long run
Despite all the pressures on my business, the decision was easy: family first. But that meant the business needed to sort itself out.
This is where the founder’s dilemma came into play. Because I spent all my time working for the business, I felt like the business wouldn’t work without me. But the business is often stronger than you think, and it’s important to stress test how well the business can stand on its own without the founder.
This was my f*ck it moment.
I chose family over my business. I risked losing everything I’d built and flew off to the West Coast. With an eight-hour time difference from our UK offices, I missed meetings, took only the most urgent calls, and most importantly, spent the longest period with my parents since leaving home at 18 (now 40).
I wish I had done this much sooner.
As the founder, it can be scary to be selfish. But it can also offer a lot of clarity. I learned to separate myself from the business in my own decision-making, which enabled me to look more objectively at business problems and truly listen to the stakeholders and shareholders without personal interference.
We were now on the same side, solving the problem. For some, I’m sure this comes naturally. For me, this was a key moment of personal growth.
Surround yourself with people who support both your vision for your personal life and business goals
My key shareholders, along with our customers, responded. Everyone was supportive.
This was a key lesson in choosing who to work with. Anyone can learn skills, but character is what counts when things get really difficult. Are the people around you helping or hurting?
In my case, like many others, being vulnerable revealed my shareholders' and colleagues' true nature. They stepped up. In fact, it was at this moment that I learned I wasn’t fighting each day alone. By opening up, I received all the support I needed to tackle any challenge.
I owe a lot to my co-founders, David Cazalet and Diego Caravana, for their unwavering support.
We set a clear path, hired for key positions and committed to a timeline for the business to prove itself. We didn’t raise a Series A, but we made bets, and it became clear that profitable revenue was a better pathway for the company.
Some decisions will be hard but will have healthy outcomes
One unavoidable consequence of setting out on a new path was having to let go of half the team. Making that hard but necessary decision came from the resoluteness I gained from my f*ck it moment
As I write this, we have hit sustainable profitable revenue, shareholders are engaging, and the team is strong and becoming steadily stronger. Our clients are pioneering the market made possible by our capabilities, and our company's focus has shifted to growth.
The irony is that this all came as a result of stepping back from the business, not knowing if it would sink and being optimistic that it would ultimately swim.
Your business is not your baby, and if you ever find yourself treating or thinking of your business that way, maybe you’re also due a f*ck it moment.
Not sold on the idea? Think of it as a moment to surprise yourself by what your business can endure when you’re not making it your first priority in life.
How my f*ck it moment redefined success
In retrospect, my f*ck it moment was more than just a business decision; it was about reclaiming personal well-being amidst the chaos of entrepreneurship. It was a pivotal point where I realized wealth isn't just about money, it’s also about relationships.
Putting my family first, despite the potential consequences for the business, was a defining moment that allowed me to regain clarity, foster personal growth, and build a more sustainable relationship with my business.
My message to you is to remember you deserve your f*ck it moment (hopefully not one as dire as mine). Because sometimes stepping back to reevaluate your priorities can propel both you and your business forward.